


Loving A Monster

by IvyAdalyn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-10 14:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12913989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyAdalyn/pseuds/IvyAdalyn
Summary: Cybele was told from youth that she would be the next Keeper of Clan Lavellan. After suffering the loss of her soulmate, she is sent to the Conclave as part of her duty to her clan. She is immediately thrown into a world she does not know, shemlen, spirits, demons. Fenedhis....now she has an old shemlen demon after her, what more could go wrong.The beginning of a Solavellan love story.





	1. Preface

_Feet pounding._

_Leaves crunching._

_Red flashes in my face._

_'Ma’sal’shiral!_

I wake screaming, barely making it onto my side before vomiting on the ground beside me. I feel multiple hands on me, some holding my hair away, a few rubbing my back, and one pressing their frosted hands to my face as sweat drips down my brow.

"Hamin lethal'lan, you are awake, you are with us. Varen, go get Keeper Deshanna." Arill says cleaning my face and pouring water in my mouth, as the others continue comforting me.

"He was here Arill, he is not gone.....please allow me to go look for him, sa'vunin.." I say frantically clutching her hand in mine and as I look around for him but find nothing.

"Ma serannas lethal'len, leave us, she will be okay." Keeper Deshanna says entering the hut taking over Arill's place at my side, as everyone leaves.

"Keeper-"

"Numin, Cybele, allow yourself to feel sorrow but do not be overcome by it. We have spoken of this. He has been taken to the Creator's side and here, he has allowed the growth of a new life. Ir abelas, you can not continue this. She will look to you for guidance soon do not mislead her. You must endure, it's what he would have wanted for you." She says stroking my head.

"I failed him Keeper. I could not stand to fail her too. Keep her from me until I have overcome my grief, lest her heart be overcome by it as well. I know he is gone but my spirit still calls out for him.

"I know, often times I will awake and find you curled around the tree sproutling, she is always laying in between you both. I can not guarantee it will get easier to cope with, however, you are Dalish. You have the support of the clan and I behind you, we will be with you every step da'len, but we can not give you the strength you seek. "

"Ma serannas Keeper."

I watch as Keeper Deshanna walks out of my tent, leaving me to my thoughts. I spot a small white-haired child peeking in at me and my lungs constrict. I can't think, I can't speak....forget moving. The very sight of her puts me in a state of paralysis I have never known. Fear. Her vibrant violet eyes caught my eyes in a trance, almost as if she could view my soul just by looking, tears well up and I can't stand to look at her for a moment longer. A burning sensation in my lungs reminds me to breathe. I draw in a deep breath and she finally speaks.

"Mama, I miss you....the Keeper asked I stay away from you for a bit but it's been a full moon cycle. Please talk to me! I miss baba, nobody will tell me where he is, you can't look at me without crying or yelling! Please talk to me!" She walks in, tears streaming down her dark-hued cheeks, and holding her hands out to me. I find the strength to start scooting back as she steps forward, my chest tightening and breath quickening. 

"Lethal'lan! The Keeper asked you to stay away..besides we need to gather elfroot, remember the tell of our clan Alhannon tells; the more elfroot you have on your person the safer you will be. Long long ago an Elvhen warrior...." Varen takes her hand, casting a look of pity at me as he pulls her towards the fire, her eyes holding mine as tears spill over rapidly, sorrow seeping into every gasping sob that racks her chest. 

_Ir abelas._

_I'm sorry,‘ma’sal’shiral._

_I'm so sorry...._


	2. It Started With Colors

  _"Cybele, keep her safe, let her forget me. I will not make it to dawn."_

_"No Aether! The keeper is almost here please hold on!"_

_"Ar lath, ma vhen'an ."_

_"Aether!"_

Sweat trickles down my face as I move into a sitting position despite the sharp pain spreading across my chest. "Aether...why have you gone where I can not follow?" I whisper, wiping my face clean and gathering my staff and pack of herbs.

"I am here, Cybele. I have always been here. It is you who is not here." His voice growled shattering the peaceful background noise within the forest. 

I turned to the voice slowly, hands clenched at my side. I see a vengeful god standing above the growing tree. Almost falling to my knees, with the urge to repent, I hold his scalding gaze tears running down my face. 

"Aether?" I choked out a whimper holding a hand out to him and stepping forward. He looked down at my hand in disgust, shoving it away as he paced by me. 

"She is our daughter Cybele! A beautiful creation of our love! How dare you just cast her aside as you did! It should have been you!" His furious eyes pierced through me like an arrow, leaving me sobbing and gasping for breath.

"No Aether! No! You don't mean that!" I attempt to reach for him again desperate to be in his arms once more, but he pushes me again, vehemently deflecting my touch.

"I do Cybele. 'Ma'asha'lan should not have to put up with this. Tel'abelas. Fen'Harel ma ghilana." 

My mind swarms with grief refusing to believe a word he speaks out of anger. I hold his gaze tears dripping down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around him refusing to move.

"Aether-"

He signs in resignation holding me closely, placing kisses on my face, and wiping away my tears. Hugging him closer I relax in his arms looking up at him as he leans down and captures my mouth in a fiery kiss. 

"Fenorain, this isn't you. You can grieve this one last time but after this, no more. Asleatia needs you. The clan needs you. Ar isalan na. Go now love, be the strong woman I bonded with, be the woman our child sees you as, be the woman I know you are. I will always love you. We will not meet again." Aether gives me one last kiss despite my begging him to stay with me and clutching on to his hand, but just as quickly as he arrived, he disappeared, the only evidence that he was here is the ring he left in my hand. The wedding ring I gave him. I slid it onto my finger, ignoring the implication behind giving me the ring back.  _Mi’nas’sal’inan Aether._

"Mama?" a voice asks hesitantly causing me to freeze in place. "Mama...I miss baba, but I miss you more.." tears welling up in her eyes as she hugs my legs tightly.

At that moment I know I've made up my mind. I smother her in a hug, kissing her cheeks, telling her how sorry I am and how much I love her. She just cries and hugs me tighter refusing to move an inch. We spend the afternoon gathering flowers and herbs, as she tells me how much she's progressed in her training.

"Mama?"

"Yes Asleatia?"

"If we had taken elfroot with us when baba was attacked would baba be here?"

I smiled at her sentiment teary-eyed knowing she meant well but my heart clenched in pain knowing I'd have to lie to her.

"Yes, if we had taken at least 5 bundles baba would be here, so always make sure you have more than enough." I tap her nose with a smile tying a knot around the bundle of elf root we collected and putting them into her pouch, walking to the next stalk of the root to gather.

We walk back to the clan set-up holding hands. "Keeper Deshanna says I'm almost as skilled as you in healing mama, she said pretty soon I would be able to help heal the hunters!" Asleatia smiles up at me proudly as we pass the clan threshold. 

Everything is in chaos. Everyone's running around looking through tents and under bedposts. I'm instantly on alert wrapping her hand in and hiding her inside my robe.

"Stay right next to, do not let of my hand do you understand me?" 

"Yes mama....what's happening?"

"I don't know, just stay with me until we find the Keeper." I caress her cheek moving my robe to cover her and walk slowly looking around for Keeper Deshanna.

"Keeper! There she is! Cybele is here!" Dhavihal shouts rushing forward to meet me tears streaming down her face as she throws herself against my legs wailing. 

"What is wrong?! Is it the halla, is one of them sick? Has Luna given birth?" I ask growing increasingly worried as the moments pass with just sobs coming from my people now surrounding me.

"We haven't been able to find Asleatia since dhea Cybele, we have failed Aether and you. We are so sorry." Keeper Deshanna says head bowed in shame as she places a hand on Dhavihal's shoulder. I sigh in relief causing everyone to look up at me shocked. 

"No Keeper, she is here. She found me in the meadow gathering herbs." I move my robe aside to show everyone the child clinging to my hip like a babe.

Everyone smiles seeing the happiness on both of our faces and breathes in relief, one by one coming forward and embracing us, many kissing my forehead in encouragement. Keeper Deshanna wait for everyone to clear, ensuring Asleatia is taken with the other children before grasping my forearm in respect and leading me to her tent.

"I know this is sudden and should this tradgey had happened I would have gone myself, but as it was avoided, you must attend the shemlen meeting at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I know it still hurts and we mourn him too but, your duty to the people must outweigh your inner struggle. We must know how they go about this conflict, it could be a guise for another Exalted March. If it is, I wish to move the clan further North, if needed I'd rather submit the clan to the Qun than watch our people get slaughtered, or enslaved and slaughtered by Tevinter." Keeper Deshanna says folding her legs under her as she takes a seat on the ground, keeping her face completely netural. 

I stand there stunned not quite sure how to respond other than to nod my head and reply, "Yes Keeper, I will start packing now."

"Amend your affairs, I do not know how long you will be gone and should the worst come Cybele....I promise to take Aslestia under my wing. She will not know suffering. This means more to us than you could know, I've watched you grow from a babe into a beautiful young adult, I watched you get bonded to your mate, and aided you in birthing your daughter. You are my First, you are this clan's most valued possession and know I would not send you if I did not feel the urgence." Deshanna grasps my hand tightly and bows her head to me in respect. 

"I just ask Keeper, should I be gone longer than a month but alive, you send Aslestia to me with two our best warriors, they can come back once she is with me." I meet her eyes with unshed tears in mine as I bow to her, walking out of her tent and into mine beginning to make my belongings.

"Cybele..."

I gasp looking up and see Aether standing in the corner of my tent, his dark-hued skin seeming to gleam as bits of sunlight washed over him. I rush over to him throwing myself into his arms as he embraces me kissing my face.

"You said....I thought you were-Why are you here?"

"Do not go to the Temple my love, I beg of you. Find a way to avoid it. Don't go." Aether whispers against my neck holding me tightly.

"How did you....Aether, Keeper Deshanna asked me to go. It is my duty to our people."

"Our people? The people are lost Cybele! Fenedhis! The people are no more Elvhen than the city dwellers! The only people I consider our people are you, Alestia, and myself. Do you not see how lost they are?" 

"Aether! They are my people. I have a duty--"

"You had a duty to raise and love our creation! You failed! Just as you have everything else!"

_Smack!_

"Did you-- Did you just hit me Cybele?" Aether asks in a calm voice holding his cheek.

"You may be right, but my bonded would never speak to me like that. I do not know who you are but you are not Aether." I say in a low voice standing up.

"Cybele, I am Aether. I am your bonded. I--"

"I am sorry. You are right. This is your duty. Just promise me you'll be safe. Stay close to the entrance to the meeting at the Conclave my love. Follow your gut. I will take my leave." Aether stands leaving a kiss on my forehead and lips before walking out of the tent, leaving me in silence.

"Mama?"

"Yes?" I ask looking up in surprise as Alestia walks in with her hand folded infront of her, her stance so painfully similar to Ather.

Alestia smiles sadly and clasps onto my waist. "You're going to leave me soon mama, it may not be able to protect you like baba, but I hope this keeps you safe enough to come back to me." She puts the bundle of elfroot into the pouch inside my robe and holds onto me as I finish packing my items.

We walk out in silence, watching as the clan stands on either side of us in a line, letting their hand brush against me as I walk to the threshold where Keeper Deshanna and Alifalon are standing waiting for me to come forward. They both grasp my forearm and brush their forehead against me giving me space to kiss Alestia once more before I head on my way.

_You will be stronger._

_You will not be the weakling you have allowed yourself to become._

_No more crying Cybele._

_We do not have time for that._

_You are made from ice._

 


End file.
